• Christy Ukata

Not Your Regular Valentine’s Day

February might be tagged the month of love by a lot of people.Why is it tagged the month of love? Well it is the month of Valentine’s Day, which has been curved out by society as a day for couples to show affection to each other in a grandiose manner ; with chocolates, cards, teddy bears, flowers and all manners of gifts. Cute right !

Unfortunately Valentine's Day day sucks for most people, not because they don’t have a partner to be loved up with or they don’t receive any gifts, but it's a day that reminds them of one of the worst days of their lives. It is a triggering day and event. A lot of women have been abused on this day especially by their partners through domestic violence or dating violence.

“Valentine’s Day depresses me especially for the fact that it started from a happy evening to my worst nightmare”, said a Survivor . As mentioned earlier its a day meant for affection and showering love and care but instead they are filled with rage, pain and many times depressed than any other time of the year. These feelings can be very draining to a survivor because it always leave a mark on them one way or the other. Its important to help survivors get through this day, it usually just means they are reliving the experience.


Dear Survivor, as this day gets closer, remember that you can get through this day happily too. Here are some suggestions of how to get through the day.

  • BE AROUND A SUPPORT SYSTEM: This could be friends or family, who will not doubt your feeling or ask you to go back to your abuser .

  • TRY THERAPY : Join a survivor’s group or talk to your therapist about your experience .

  • LOVE YOURSELF : Love yourself by putting yourself first. Do whatever that gives you peace . Yoga, meditation or even prayers.

In the end the aim is to overcome this pain from this reoccurring even as time goes on. The more you have self rule over this, the more it will fade away.

105 views0 comments